Lol, is it even possible?
It may feel impossible. It may feel like the worst thing you've ever experienced, but bombing won't kill you. Some effective ways to get over tanking on stage are: getting blackout drunk, eating an entire Chicago pizza, having regrettable sex so you feel that shame instead.
Just kidding! Or are we?
For real, here are tips and tricks we've used after bombing (because we have, and you will too if you continue doing stand-up comedy).
And if none of these tried and true tips works, remember you can always eat 18 banana splits, drink a bottle of vodka, and hook up with an ex! (but we advise against it!)
- Call up a sympathetic friend, i.e., usually another stand-up comic or other performer who feels your plight. Perhaps they'll lovingly give you some shit and their ear. Commiserate over pancakes or beers, whichever works better for you.
- Get over yourself and learn from it. Bombing is something only you've done. It happens to anyone who takes the bold risk of getting on stage to perform. Consider it a learning experience. How might you lean into pain the next time you're on stage?
- Watch something horrible. Try clips of other people bombing. Hey look! That tone-deaf woman who sang at CPAC probably still gets up in the morning after her dreadful National Anthem performance. You can too!
- Watch something horrible, part 2. If other people bombing doesn't work, search for catastrophic weather tragedies. Sure, your hack joke about online dating didn't land and that hurt your ego, but is it as bad as a tsunami destroying your home?
- Write material about it. They say comedy is tragedy plus time, so some day in the future, you shitting the bed in front of comics you're trying to impress at an open mic, could turn into comedy gold.